O' Cum All Ye' Faithful

Has your birth control method ever failed? Or, maybe you had unprotected sex with your lover. If so, what did you do to stop his seed from finding a permanent home in the soft lining of your uterus?

Did you fall to your knees and pray for a miracle? Please God, Please. No children. No baby. I'll be a good girl, I promise!

Or, what if, in a moment of proactive self-protection, you participated in the holiest of all sacraments, the Eucharist.

I traveled the winding road to Mecca (i.e. Planned Parenthood) on Monday to renew my faith. And, when I walked through those Golden Doors of Heaven I heard the angels singing God's praises. After I made my contribution to the offering plate ($44), I felt the Holy Spirit descend upon me. Before receiving Holy Communion, I passionately sermonized (sperminized):

"Take this, all of you, and eat it:
this is my body which will be given up for you.
When supper was ended, he took the cup.
Again he gave you thanks and praise,
gave the cup to his disciples, and said:
Take this, all of you, and drink from it:
this is the cup of my blood,
the blood of the new and everlasting covenant.
It will be shed for you and for all
so that sins may be forgiven.
Do this in memory of me."



Thank you Lord. You truly are a kind and benevolent God.

Peace be with you.

Amen.

Sex in the Soil

Autumn in Moldova

“When it’s missing then you want it more
It isn’t right
Turning out the door
And back to this
Leave it like it was before
And let me out”
-Warrior: Yeah Yeah Yeahs

We've all been subjected to abuse in some way, shape, or form. Whether it's a broken heart, a parent's abandonment, death, disease, poverty of the soul, or poverty of the mind- it's all there. We've walked down our quiet roads of desperation, swallowing anger, resentment, guilt, and toxic shame. And mostly, the grief is contained in our own private hell. It is in this hell, that we divide from other people and dive deep into our own cosmic experience.

There is an inner division too. Splits occur. Fragmentation sets in. We cannot see the truth in someone else’s experience because we are locked down in our own pain. We cannot gain any benefits from their experience because of our stubborn refusal to examine another’s journey outside of ours. We need open recognition of what our wounds are and the wounds of those around us, before we can embrace an enemy with compassion, or hell, even ourselves.

To make matters more difficult, we forget, the Earth is our greatest healer. We spend an obscene amount of time chasing plastic, only to forget the dirt under our feet and what it feels like. We disconnect and then make excuses for our collective sickness.

"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord”

I am not a devoted religious scholar, or even a “believer” in the fucked up sense believing entails in modern day society. However, this old hymn runs through my brain every time I ponder the meaning of healing through the Earth. After we come to terms with our own wounds, and can clearly see and put into perspective the wounds of others, we may wonder how to proceed next with the process of, as one of my favorite writers would say, “Getting over thyself.”

Healing requires we get intimate with the Earth. Traveling, then, in a larger sense, represents a quest for release and the movement toward passion and love, as we acquaint ourselves with the Earth. For the thrill of letting go and for a sweet moment of peace, we move, with authority, out into the world.

When I started to realize what my eyes had seen, and how damaged my vision was (literally 2400/20, legally blind eyes!), I knew I had to learn to “see” differently, in order to heal. To see the world and myself differently, I flooded my psyche with imagery in brand new landscapes and sat with it. In essence, I went straight to the Earth for healing.

This naughty little sex writer, then, is taking a few moments from her ass-pounding, fist-fucking world to share, in orgasmic delight, my favorite places. These are the places I must go. I must see them with my eyes open so wide they pop from my head. I must sit on the Earth at each place and run my fingers over the soil and breathe. I must, belly to the ground, lay my ear down and listen.

Vintgar Gorge, Gorjie, Slovenia



Krka National Park, Croatia




Machu Picchu, Peru



The Blue Church- Chisinau, Moldova



Bran Castle, Romania




Lucerne, Switzerland



Travel it all away.

Love,

Sally.

Oh gosh, where to start…

Ok, so, I’m in major blog post arrears, I know.

BUT!

Budapest! Prague! Berlin! Yippee!

The trip was absolutely amazing. It was very surreal. Like standing on the moon, and going, “Am I really here?” The curiosity factor was high, and I did learn so much. I was able to keep a travel diary through out the trip and took so many pictures, which, will coming to a future blog post near you.

Until then, just a short note to say, hello, hope you are all well and in good spirits. ~ Sally S.

P.S. A naughty story about twelve unnamed Italians looking for a good time is definitely in the cards.

Hello From Budapest!

Hey Everybody! Sorry I haven't posted lately! I'm in Budapest! I've been on the road for about a week now. First to Berlin, Prague, Bratislava (which by the way is a charming city), and now... Budapest! Buda and Pest are actually two cities joined together by bridges which span over the Danube River. The beauty of the city is breath-taking. The Castles, the Churches, oh the fun! I even hit the club scene pretty hard in Prague, and let's just say...it did not disappoint! I'm so looking forward to sharing my "on the road" stories with you all! Sending ya love from every corner of the globe~~ Sally Sunshine

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

Y’all, this summer I’m going on a va-ka (vacation) to Eastern Europe! I’ll be leaving for Berlin on June 24th, and returning on July 3rd. See the map below of all the cities to be visited:



I’m going to do an OBSCENE amount of writing while I’m on the trip, and will be posting regular updates to my blog as well. If you’ve been to any of the above places, and have any advice on what monuments to visit or cultural activities to partake in any advice would be appreciated. I’m starting to put together a list now.

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? (TV Theme Song)
By Yazbek & Altman

Well she sneaks around the world from Kiev to Carolina,
She’s a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize,
She’ll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Steal their Seoul in South Korea, make Antarctica cry uncle,
From the Red Sea to Greenland they’ll be singing the blues
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

She go from Nashville to Norway, Bonaire to Zimbabwe,
Chicago to Czechoslovakia and back!

Well she’ll ransack Pakistan & run a scam in Scandinavia.
Then she’ll stick ‘em up Down Under & go pick-pocket Perth
She put the Miss in misdemeanor when she stole the beans from Lima,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Oh tell me where in the world is . . .
Oh tell me where can she be?

Ooh, Botswana to Thailand, Milan via Amsterdam,
Mali to Bali, Ohio, Oahu . . . !

Well she glides around the globe & she’ll flim-flam every nation.
She’s a double-dealing diva with a taste for thievery,
Her itinerary’s loaded up with moving violations,
Tell me where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Africa: The Long Journey Home

Last summer, I was fortunate enough to befriend a group of young men who were visiting the United States on work visas from South Africa. When I introduced them to other friends who were US citizens, my Caucasian friends were very surprised that my South African friends were white. Evidently, they did not know white people lived in Africa. There were other startling discoveries made as the friendships blossomed between me and as I called them, “my guys”.

Africa, as a continent, is fascinating. My obsession started when I considered joining the Peace Corps. after I finished my undergrad degree. I had just finished my application with every intention of committing to three years in the Peace Corps., when I decided it wasn’t the right time. However, I’ve always felt drawn to the organization in hope of being sent off to West Africa, which has always had a significant hold over me.

Recently, I met a young man from Morocco (a northwest African country) who speaks FOUR languages and is currently studying in the US. My other African friend from Tunisia, who lives and works in France, holds a prestigious job in Paris. These young men are quite ambitious and “Westernized” in their approach. Their personalities reflect “Western” world attitudes, yet influences from their countries of origin remain intact.

Even without the additions of Westernized influence, Africa is a complex continent. In some areas (particularly Eastern Africa) one would be afraid to enter these countries for fear of leaving in a body bag (Somalia, Chad, Ethiopia, Rwanda, Sudan for example) due to the increased influx of terrorist regimes that have seized power because of corruption at the executive level. However, many areas of Africa are beautiful peaceful sanctuaries from the rest of the crazy world. It continues to amaze me that both extremes exist with startling regularity on the continent. For instance, in 1994, the Hutu government of Rwanda orchestrated genocide against a minority group within its own country. The rest of the world watched as millions were brutally murdered with machetes, bullets, fire, or by any method the government found useful to “EXTERMINATE” people. Hell, Hollywood made a whole movie, Hotel Rwanda, to commemorate the event.

Hotel Rwanda was made in 2004, just 10 years after the genocide. The movie denounced the lack of US or UN involvement in helping to restore order in the country. Today, the scars from the mass killing still remain. For example, this priest was just now found guilty for crimes associated with the genocide.

A caption below his picture in an article reads, “ A Catholic priest was convicted Wednesday of participating in Rwanda's 1994 genocide by ordering militiamen to set fire to a church and then bulldoze it while 2,000 people were huddled inside.”

Meanwhile, in Sudan and Somalia similar government-led murder sprees are occurring RIGHT NOW. The spillover affect is also an issue, meaning that neighboring countries will see an influx of displaced persons as these government sponsored terror campaigns against their own people continue. The situation has escalated in the African country, Chad, as refugees from Sudan cross their border. Sudanese militia are now attacking Chadians and Sudanese people alike. Click on this link for a web-based slide show reflecting the conditions in Chad.

Westernized cultures, especially North America, have been very disconnected from the rest of the world. I’m finally just starting to understand the depths of my ignorance beyond my own borders and it’s staggering. As Americans, we need to be more aware of the world and the condition of its inhabitants. After all, we are supposed to be the leaders.

The lyrics below are fitting right now, as we prepare for our big family Holiday-inspired events. Let’s also take time to remember our extended family as in, OUR HUMAN FAMILY. The rest of the world needs us.

The Cranberries- Ode to My Family

Understand the things I say
Don’t turn away from me
Cause I spent half my life out there
You wouldn’t disagree
Do you see me, do you see
Do you like me, do you like me standing there
Do you notice, do you know
Do you see me, do you see me
Does anyone care

Unhappiness when I was young
And we didn’t give a damn
’cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she held me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Oh he liked me, does anyone care?

Understand what I’ve become
It wasn’t my design
And people everywhere think
Something better than I am
But I miss you
’cause I liked it, I liked it
When I was out there
You did not find me, you did not find
Does anyone care?

Ms. International- Playa with a Passport

So here’s a thought:

Does the “zip code rule”- (see a full explanation of the zip code rule below) apply if you are physically located in another zip code than your home address, but your sweetie is with you? Or do both people have to be located in separate zip codes altogether so paths won’t ever cross? Let it be known, I met some full-on hotties in Paris, seriously. While my own relationship definitely was not setting off sparks in the city of romance, I was feeling it, not with my partner, but with almost every single Frenchman that crossed my path.

My significant other was along on the trip, however, he was quiet, reserved, and quite unappreciative of my natural lusty ways. Of course, this aspect of his personality, which previously went unobserved before, was glaringly obvious in the THE city of romance. Where were my passionate deep kisses by the Seine River? Where were my long-anticipated midnight encounters? Or hand-holding walking through the gardens of Paris? Damn, I can be down-right romantic at times- it’s a curse. Although, the focus of the trip was not to reinforce our status in the eyes of others as a couple, a decent kiss by the damn river would’ve been nice.

Our relationship is best non-relationship I’ve ever had- I can do what I want, we only see each other sporadically, and oh yeah… I can do whatever I want. However, encounters with him have made me stop in my tracks and think, “hmm, yes, I’ve definitely had better.” Ouch. For him, I mean. Well, maybe it’s my loss too as I haven’t had a decent lay in ages. What’s the problem with all the men out there? Why does everyone else besides me leave the party satisfied? Maybe I’m hard to please, but seriously, let’s get our freak flags waving. I think those Frenchmen understand what I’m sayin.

ZIP CODE RULE: You can do anything you like outside your zip code. The more the digits differ, the farther you can go. Something similar to “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!”

A Girl, a City, a Revelation

Recently, I visited Paris for one week with several friends. The experience was conscious-raising, awe-inspiring, and life-changing. Something about the city and what we saw was very liberating, and the more I try to define it the less sense I can make out of it. Yet, a cryptic type of language/description is often what I’m drawn to. “Drawn to” is perfect summarization of the city of Paris. Paris is a very beautiful romantic feminine city, and it set something off inside of me.

Constantly, the words “I can feel the times, they are a-changing” reverberated in brain during my stay. I approached each experience in Paris open to the possibility of a transformative moment. As a result, during the trip, I felt I had tapped into the energy or “spirit of place” as many like to call it as we visited different historical landmarks. My most intense moment was during our tour of Notre Dame.

First of all, I nearly skipped going to the churches all together, as we all know, I’m not that impressed with organized religion. However, as I walked toward the church through the streets of Paris I felt a rush run through me. Ah, a connection. I didn’t understand it, but I could feel it. When we entered the church, I was immediately drawn to Exhibit 1 on the right side of the church by the entry way. I stood in front of the exhibit depicting Christ on the cross, in all of his agony. Candles were burning in front of it as tears slid down my cheeks. The powerful energy and imagery encountered in that one moment sent chills up and down my back and arms.

Human suffering abounds all around us, and finally I’m beginning to understand what my role is in helping to alleviate it. The moment was powerful because brought forth an important revelation- to be human is to suffer, yet the purpose for all of humanity is to provide for the healing of others and ourselves. We provide the “balm”, the saving grace, we pick one another up and we move on. Balm means “a healing, soothing, comforting agent or quality”, and in this world, we definitely need more of it.

The time is November, the sun is in Scorpio, along with a host of other planets and humanity is riding the deep wave into our subconscious mind.
It is a time of reflection, and as I always say, the pain passes but the beauty does remain. It’s good to honor the dead, it’s good to talk about death, and it’s good to mourn too. We ride, and we ride. The wave comes and goes, and I move with it too.

Below is a little piece I wrote after visiting Notre Dame. Symbolism abounds. ~ NLH


Magdalena’s Prayer

I stand in the stairway
I leave the lantern behind
I walk down the dark hall
I ask questions no one will ever know

what about all the years sacrificed on this cross?
did his death mean anything at all?
a light flicks knowingly
and I am filled with certainty

it was good to lose you
even though the Earth consumed you
it was still good to touch you

the pieces of your cross turn to dust
and the winter turns careless
digging its cold into my bones
but now I’ve earned the right to lay with you
in your tomb