Friday, June 29, 2007

Hello From Budapest!

Hey Everybody! Sorry I haven't posted lately! I'm in Budapest! I've been on the road for about a week now. First to Berlin, Prague, Bratislava (which by the way is a charming city), and now... Budapest! Buda and Pest are actually two cities joined together by bridges which span over the Danube River. The beauty of the city is breath-taking. The Castles, the Churches, oh the fun! I even hit the club scene pretty hard in Prague, and let's just did not disappoint! I'm so looking forward to sharing my "on the road" stories with you all! Sending ya love from every corner of the globe~~ Sally Sunshine

Friday, June 15, 2007

Playing Doctor

No, this post will not be about fairies. I just liked the pretty picture.

I often like pretty pictures whether it’s a person viewed as an object, or an actual piece of art.

Hence, Dr. Dude.

Dr. Dude is an ICU nurse who I happened to meet walking down the streets of a strange city late at night in my cute multi-colored summer dress, heels slung over my shoulder, a little tipsy, but, nonetheless, feeling conversational. Dr. Dude recognized me immediately and called out, “hey, I know you, you’re from _______ right?” To which I replied, “Why yes, Doctor, I am.” Turns out, he was staying at the same hotel as I was, so, we continued to chat in the lobby while he checked in.

Dr. Dude is 30 years old, but looks all of 23 years old (Damn Gemini’s and their anti-aging superpowers!) Anyway, he’s a pretty sexy boi, and was very interested in conversing with moi, so naturally I was all ears. At the last minute, I gave him my number, leaned over, kissed his cheek, and left him standing in the hotel elevator.

Dr. Dude is prime catch, ladies. Good job, sexy bod, smart, witty, fun… BUT…………and a big BUT at that…. he’s a devout Christian, wants marriage AND kids. So, what in the hell is he doing hanging out with likes me?

I feel a little more than selfish snatching this guy up for my own personal enjoyment while some people struggle to simply get a date. I guess I’m just a gluttonous lust-filled pig. I want, I want, I want!

The thing is, Dr. Dude has decided to save himself for marriage. Although he is not a virgin, it’s been a long time since he’s engaged in the horizontal mambo.

Like 12 years or so.

Seems Dr. Dude is a bit of a freak boi, yet does not engage in any type of penetration, save anal. And folks, anal is not for the faint of heart. The guy really fascinates me. Being an artiste of seduction, I have formulated a plan to see how far I can carry on with the lust until I break him down. Yes, it’s an evil plot and the characters are actual people, but doesn’t it sound fun?

And did I mention he has the best ass I’ve ever seen?

Even if he has tendency to read bible verses to me at 12:30 in the morning, I can over look it. Because. That Ass. Heh. Makes me sweat just thinking about it.

Someday I will actually post about something relevant like Hamas and Fatah, or The Up Coming Primaries, or hell…ending poverty. Someday I may even return to my feminist roots and write something on the subject or any subject other than my own self-indulgent pleasure-seeking indecent activities. It could happen. Just not today.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Body Goals: 2007

Hey y'all,

As you know, Sally does enjoy her many hard core hours spent sweating it out in the gym. Here is the new workout plan (nutritition, cardio, and lifting) I devised for myself. It's pretty intense, but hopefully I can kick start this old mule. Heh.


1) breakfeast: 2 servings, low calorie egg beaters with a sm. serving of fresh fruit

2) snack: whey protein shake

3) lunch: Soy burger, low fat, 2 servings of vegetables, low fat yogurt

4) pre-gym snack: Quaker Rick Cake with Peanut Butter

5) dinner: Salad with low cal dressing, fish (protein), and tomato

Other snack options: banana, apple, no sugar added: granola bar or pudding

Limit all caffeine, alcohol, and juices with high sugar content and increase water intake by 2 times the regular amount. (16 glasses per day at 8 ounces per glass)

Work out Plan: (based on a 6 day rotation, one day off)

1) Monday: 45 minutes of cardio: spin class (600 calorie burn)

Lift: Back and Biceps

Back rotation:

1) Assisted pull-ups (wide-grip) (3 sets, 10 reps)
2) One-Arm Dumbbell Row or Sitting Cable Rows (3 sets, 10 reps)
3) T-Bar Row (standing) narrow over-hand grip (3 sets, 10 reps)
4) Lat Pull Downs (3 sets, 15 reps)
5) Shoulder Shrugs with Isolation (2 sets, 10 reps)


1) Alternating Dumbbell Curls (2 sets, 20 reps)
2) Standing Straight Ez Bar Curls (2 sets, 15 reps)
3) Standing Preacher Curls (Ez Bar or Dumbells) (3 sets, 10 reps) or until failure

2) Tuesday- off-

3) Wednesday- 45 minutes of cardio (kick boxing and step class)

Lift: Legs

1) Leg extensions (2 machines, 3 sets of 15 on each one) warm-up
2) Squats (3 sets, 15 reps)

3) Leg Press (3 sets, 15 reps) wide stance

4) Sitting position with 25 lbs of weight on lap- hold for 2 minutes

4) Thursday- 40 minutes of cardio-Running

Lift: Chest and Triceps

Chest Rotation:

1) Incline Dumbbell Press (3 sets, 10 reps)
2) Wide-Grip Push Ups (3 sets, 15 reps)
3) Flat Bench Dumbbell Press (3 sets, 10 reps)
4) Cable Crossovers (3 sets, 8 reps)

Tricep Rotation:

1) Close-Grip Push Downs (3 sets, 10 reps)
2) Lying or Standing Dumbbell Tricep Extensions (3 sets, 10 reps)
3) Lying Tricep Press using EZ Bar (3 sets, 10 reps)

5) Friday – 30 minutes of cardio

Lift: Shoulders and Abs

Shoulder Rotation:

1) Behind the Neck Military Press (3 sets, 10 reps)
2) Seated Dumbbell Press (sitting straight up on bench, palms facing out) (3 sets, 10 reps)
3) Side Lateral Raises with dumbbells, keep palms facing down (3 sets, 10 reps)
or Front Dumbbell Raises for variation

Ab Rotation:

1) Cable Rope Crunches (3 sets, 20 reps)
2) 30 Degree partial sit-ups with Swiss Ball (3 sets, 20 reps)
3) Ball Pass (3 sets, 10 reps)
4) The Plank (2 sets, 60 seconds)

** Abs can be done every other day besides this day only

6) Saturday- 60 Minutes of Cardo, Abs and Glutes

Cardio (stair stepper and running)


1) Walking Lunges with Weights, (3 times around the track)
2) Glute Kickbacks (3 sets, 25 reps)
3) Dumbbell Squat or Squat Lunges (3 sets, 10 reps)
4) Dumbbell Lunges (2 sets, 10 reps) or until failure

7) Sunday- cardio only with Abs (45 minutes of cardio, 15 minute abs)

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Karma, 101

Everything I touch breaks.

At least today.

My car, the toilet in our community office bathroom, the toilet at the house I used to rent with my sister, the door which the cops kicked down at the old house I used to live at, and for fuck’s sake, my favorite Channel lipstick, and the end of my living room table (baby toe, meet table, AGAIN…), ect…


Similarly, my little sister claims everything in her life rots, i.e. grows mold, from the fridge to possibly her personal life, but I’m not judging, no, of course not.

Conversely, everyone in my office is having a grand old day. So-and- so’s pathetic excuse for a son just bought a house and blah, blah, blah… suck it people!

Do I sound like a five year-old today or what? Maybe someone should just put me on a leash. After all, with my tendency to break shit and what not…..

So, why the rude smart-ass overtones? Readers, I have been feeling somewhat emotionally numb the last few days and cannot be bothered to find one iota of compassion for others in my cold dead lifeless heart.

Also, money people, that’s right, money. I’ve been spending an obscene amount of it lately and found I am somewhat disgusted with myself about it. I received a rather large inheritance over a year ago and I have basically bought a lot of shit. Needless shit. So much for that "conservative with money" accountant stereotype, you won’t find that here, no siree.

And each week it’s a game, isn’t it? We say, I’m going to change this and this and this about my life, next week, yeah, sometime next week. But that time never comes, and well, why should it? When we’re doing just the minimal amount of work in our lives to get by and keep others off our freakin’ backs, there’s not much incentive to achieve, is there?

I the problem is, I was a nose-to-the-grind stone hard core achiever for many years, and managed to make some pretty impressive strides in my life. But now, it’s just enough to get by….heh. How did it come to this, I ask myself often. And each week I make impossible promises to myself about how dedicated and service-orientated I will be and how much joy I will experience because of it, and then… fuck…. it’s pedicures, shopping, tanning, excessive gyming (is that a word?) and martinis on a Tuesday night.

Key lime pie martinis.

Who does that?

Some people my age have 2.5 kids, the house, The Job, ect, ect, ect..
Yet, I cannot be bothered with such humdrum. I’ve been catching flack from friends lately about being more “adult-like” and “stop all that partying girlfriend!” which is actually ironic, because 5 years ago with my nose held to the stone, they looked awfully frivolous in my eyes.

Well, Justin Timberlake, you just might be on to something there, what goes around does come round’. Funny, I thought I told ya.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend.


On Saturday night, as my back slammed against the granite on my living room floor, in the midst of a short but pleasurable threesome, I contemplated the meaning of life.

Just kidding.

Well, not really.

If I had more time for blogging these days I would post more about my nefarious sexual misadventures. But no. With the move, the strangeness of this life experiment, and the apparent increase in naughtiness, the words have been failing me. And that really is shame. So, I apologize.

I’d like to end this before I go influence young minds (not exactly, more like college-aged minds) with three weird things… (besides the hasty 4am cold hard floor orgy in my loft on Sat. night)

So, here you have it…

Weird Stuff

1) Leaving for work one morning and seeing a crowd of senior citizens with “Impeach Bush”, “Peace First”, and “War No More” signs. Their “Impeach Bush Now” van was parked in plain view across the street. I honked at the old folks, gave them a thumbs up, and was on my merry way to work- not the first thing I expected to see leaving my apartment at 8am.

2) Waking up to the sound of jack hammer inside my second story loft, eh, not exactly, but it was right outside my window on the roof. With curtains wide open, I made the trek from my bed to shut of my alarm, without one spec of clothing adorning my body. I hope the construction guys got a good look at my ass. Lord knows, they couldn’t have missed it.

3) Walking with a friend down the bike trails we came to impasse, so, we stood for a moment while we, and fellow walkers, enjoyed the view. Coldplay was blasting on my iPOD and I was feeling a little nostalgic and emotional when I looked to my right. A child, probably 4 or 5, had been restrained by a harness while his parents held him on a leash. That’s right, a fucking leash! My friend and I both happened to see the kid at the same time, as we watched the parents pull the leash back while the kid pushed forward with all his might. We immediately burst into laughter as the somber moment was replaced with disbelief. A fucking leash!!!!!

That is all.

More Weirdness to come, in the near future…

Friday, June 01, 2007

Sistas' are doin’ it for themselves…

“Standin' on their own two feet.
And ringin' on their own bells.”

If you haven’t done so yet, go read Cassandra’s post about women-only spaces.

My experience with women-only spaces was a little different. I grew up in a family of women (powerful women at that) with no male influences. I saw the women around me kicking a lot of ass..doing it on their own and what not… both my mother and aunt were staunch feminists. In fact, the very first book my mom ever gave me was called “Eve’s Revenge”, a collection of feminist stories, jokes, etc… so I remember identifying with feminism at a pretty early age. Although my paternal grandmother never identified herself as a feminist, hell if she didn’t raise 3 boys on her own and run an entire franchise with little or no help. So, yeah, women-only spaces, not a bad thing in my book.

I don’t know that my mom ever told me “Sally, you don’t have to fear anyone, especially men.” But, it was communicated to me through her actions. She, in my mind, was doing the impossible (single parent, 4 kids, in law school) which taught me a lot about self-preservation and kicking ass, overall. Typically, I’ve approached dangerous situations with somewhat of a reckless attitude. For example, the time I caught a burglar in downtown Minneapolis in the process of robbing my best friend’s car. I simply told him to get his ass out of the car and start running because I was going to call the police, so when I screamed, “FUCKIN MOVE IT!”, he got out of the car and ran. Fortunately, he wasn’t able to pry her stereo system free in time.

Sure, there were instances when I was younger where disgusting men helped themselves to my body. Three situations in particular stand out. The first one was in the 3rd grade when nauseatingly perverted older boy grabbed my crotch on the play ground at school and taunted me, “Sally, watcha’ gonna do, huh?” “Huh?” Had I been a little older n’ wiser, I would’ve beat his sorry ass to the pavement, but no, I just sorta stood there with a dumb look on my face. My pelvic area burned for the next week, I could still feel his fat meaty hand there.

The next incident was when I was in 8th grade. Keep in mind, I, er, developed early. I started wearing a bra when I was 10 or 11. By the time I was 13 I was a full D-Cup, on a 5’3, 110lb frame. Let’s just say it didn’t go unnoticed. Anyway, it was the summer before my 8th grade year and I was at the state fair with a few girl friends. As we walked by the various displays n’ games, the old carnie guys with missing teeth would leer at us with their various cat-calls and what not. At one point, a particularly gross toothless excuse for a man reached over and grabbed by boob. Again, I was speechless. It was during the bright light of day and I had several others with me, so I wasn’t worried for my safety, but like Cassandra said, found myself enraged and a little bit shocked.

And lastly, as the girl from the wrong side of the tracks at the good ol’ Catholic high school, I found issues like class, religion, and sexism were alive n’ well. And don’t even get me started on race and sexual orientation. Anyway, I spent a lot of time bucking the popular paradigm. Refusing to be confirmed, openly questioning authority, standing up for other fellow outcasts who were teased by girls who made “Mean Girls” look like fuckin’ tea party…eh.. well, you know how those catholic girls are. But, the guys were even worse, specially’ the jock guys. Seeing how I had “developed early” I was often harassed in the hallways by the junior/senior guys. For example, on one particular day, an unruly jock guy grabbed my ponytail, threw me against a locker, and said to his buddies, “Hey guys, look at my little freshman sex toy.” Not the most welcoming environment for an insecure teenage girl. But, eventually, I grew out of my shell and started kicking a little ass, just like my mom… the apple doesn’t fall from the tree…

Over the years, I’ve become much more assertive and aggressive about protecting my boundaries. I no longer stand speechless when some uncivilized slob grabs a body part, I also feel like if I was attacked, I could defend myself, and hell… like I said before, maybe even kick a little ass. After all, those hardcore body building training sessions at the gym have to count for something.