Thursday, November 30, 2006

Flesh for Sale

Should it come as a surprise that we are selling ourselves to others cheaply? There are many ways we sell ourselves daily with our time, commitments, and unwavering support. It’s natural, and most days it doesn’t bother me. When faced with the demands of the day, I simply check each task off of the massive “to do” list that has become my life. But, every now and then, I feel like a cheap whore who’s been working way too much. I’m tired, but aren’t we all? If I promise to sit still like a good girl and perform each task given to me like a machine, at least everyone around me will approve. Approval is for sale too, as long as we give a damn about what everyone else thinks about us. The need for approval will make people do crazy things, things outside of the person they are. Eventually, as we continue to please others, we become less and less aware of who we are and what we want. We hope we can keep everyone happy by totally relinquishing our time, flesh, independence, and self-will. There! Is that good enough? I’ve wondered several times in my life when I’ve caught myself bending to the will of others without any regard for what I’ve wanted. However, during the last year, I’ve become more aware of my need to say “NO”- and I don’t feel badly about it anymore. Being with that “special someone” can help to ease the pain of the daily grind. On the other hand, it becomes a chore, another item we must complete on our never ending list. People expect a certain level of commitment, and to that I would respond, “Heaven whore’s itself out often.” Just don’t get used to it.

Although what I have to give might not be enough for some, it’s all I have. Below are lyrics by the lovely, talented Sarah Mclachlan-

Sarah McLachlan- Good Enough

Hey your glass is empty
It’s a hell of a long way home
Why don’t you let me take you
It’s no good to go alone
I never would have opened up
But you seemed so real to me
After all the bullshit I’ve heard
It’s refreshing not to see
I don’t have to pretend
She doesn’t expect it from me

Don’t tell me I haven’t been good to you
Don’t tell me I have never been there for you
Don’t tell me why
Nothing is good enough

Hey little girl would you like some candy
Your momma said that it’s ok
The door is open come on outside
No I can’t come out today
It’s not the wind that cracked your shoulder
And threw you to the ground
Who’s there that makes you so afraid
You’re shaken to the bone
And I don’t understand
You deserve so much more than this

So don’t tell me why
He’s never been good to you
Don’t tell me why
He’s never been there for you
Don’t you know that why
Is simply not good enough
So just let me try
And I will be good to you
Just let me try
And I will be there for you
I’ll show you why
You’re so much more than good enough

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