AFFAIRS IN MY HEAD

Do people remember their little excursions away from reality? Secret crushes? Dreams never satisfied? Lips never kissed? Lust never dies, it thrives inside of us and we carry it from one relationship to the next, hoping and fearing at the same time that our deepest desires will be found out. Will our partner be open to our fantasies? Or will we be made to feel guilty for our more erotic impulses? What stimulates our creativity where sexuality is considered? Should we posses our partners? Owning them and claiming their body as “our territory?”

All are valid questions to address within our relationships. Sexual freedom, especially for women, is a taboo topic in our society. Demeaning words liter our language and images are no better, we, as women, have very little to work with. A healthy sexuality is experienced as a functional, safe, yet fantasy- filled environment to nurture our deepest yearnings. How can we become powerful co-creators with the men (or women!) in our lives? A continued interaction with one singular person in a monogamous relationship often kills creativity/innovation. However, jealously, feelings ownership, a perceived intimacy, and specialness of “self” often keep us from experimenting with multiple partners. A strict adherence to traditional structures in marriages and partnerships makes for bleak future indeed. Do we let societal pressure dictate our experience of love or do we forge ahead on our own road?

The separation of our more beastly natures from who we profess to be during the light of day is a tricky compromise. We all walk the line, some are more repressed than others, yet still we are all still part human and part beast. I say we dignify it. Both sides! I say we refuse to be involved with those who will not have open honest conversations about their sexuality. I say we demand freedom to be our sexy naughty selves and to feel safe and loved at the SAME time! Men should realize this revolution taking place in hearts and minds of many young women today is good for them too! It will enrich their relationships and open the door for more exploration in a most healthy fashion. So, men (or women!) encourage your partner to embrace freedom, be creative, and most importantly…. don’t forget the toys! Have Fun!

Although I never met the person described below, I had many affairs in my head with him. Here’s to you Suren… the lust still thrives….

Proclamation California

You are a long-haired scientist
with a dose of practical Virgo beneath your dark skin
you look like Rococo Juarez with wet eyes that shine
with your try me on style and witty cross-fire

honey, I will see you

blessed with two feet and ten toes
but normalcy doesn’t come easily
for an boy who fantasizes about losing himself in mudslides
and what about tornados in Los Angeles?
there always is a possibility
you could lose more than anticipated

honey, I will see you

yellow tee-shirt and all
with a desert-sun framing the roundest face
smiling with the brownness of the Earth
cactus to your right, and an empty left

honey, I will miss you