Too Short- I’m a Player
You see I made up my mind when I was seventeen,
I ain't with no marriage and a weddin' ring,
I be a player for life so where's my wife,
probably at the rehab stuck on the pipe,
'cause she must be smokin' and I'm not jokin'
Too Short baby comin' straight from Oakland,
Got way more bitches than I ever need,
I put that on a big fat bag of weed,
'cause I can give you a bitch who wouldn't give you joint,
Bitches ain't shit and now I made my point,
so you can light that weed,
while I spit this rap,
and tell you 'bout a player from way back
I was only fourteen when I first got my dick sucked,
now I'm grown up and I really like to bust nuts,
Gettin' freaky in the right situations,
You wanna rap well that's a nice occupation,
To get pussy when you want 'n how you want it fool
'cause I was fuckin' ugly hoes back in high school
I used to fuck young-ass hoes,
Used to be broke and didn't have no clothes,
Now I fuck top notch bitches,
Tellin' stories 'bout rags to riches,
'bout a pimp named Shorty from the Oakland set,
Been mackin' for years 'n ain't fell of yet,
So if you ever see me rollin' in my drop top caddy,
throw a peace sign and say hey pimp daddy!
'cause I never would front on my folks,
I slow down and let the gold diggers count my spokes,
Bitches come a dime a dozen,
So don't get mad when I fuck your cousin,
your two sisters, I even fuck your ex-bitch,
Short Dog in the house with some player shit
Comin' up we learn how to freak these hoes,
and when your through getting yours then you shake these hoes,
and when your older, it's nothin' but a routine,
Makin' G's everyday workin' blue jeans,
I know I seen it before,
I see it again,
Young tender saying Short would you be my man
I was born to mack,
I'm hookin' hoes like crack, I be a monkey on your back bitch,
Until you kick that Short Dog habit got you on my dick,
and even though I can't fuck you every day,
that's 'cause I got another bitch around the way,
We can all get together on a late night,
cut to the house hook somethin' up real tight,
I really don't care,
cause I'm a player
Now, this is interesting. Feminists have been wrapped up in this debate for awhile. Do the lyrics above contribute toward the subjugation of women in our society? Rappers talk about “big-booty hoes” and “pimpin’ bitches”, but what is this really about? Is it art? Is it just a little harmless fun for the masses, or another method some men use to assert their dominance over women? If “bitches come a dime-a-dozen” then why don’t men go find a hole in the wall to fuck rather than expose us (i.e. women) to another boring lay. I’ll try to suppress my YAWN next time, boys. I mean, seriously, as women we have to deal with this shit everyday. Yesterday, a girlfriend of mine called at work to tell me some asshole tried to rape her last weekend. As women, how are supposed to respond to this? With a casual, “oh I’m sorry honey, how was the rest of your weekend?” Topics like rape, sexual abuse ect.. are the dark side of sexuality and typically make people uncomfortable. However, we must face these issues and FIGHT BACK! I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but I’m in the mood to kick some boy ass!
I wonder how Mr. Short’s lyrics would sound coming from a woman’s mouth. I think it’s worth examining. See Too Short’s lyrics below, but this time, they're comin’ from me, sons-of-bitches.
You see I made up my mind when I was seventeen,
I ain't with no marriage and a wedding ring,
I be a player for life so where's my guy
probably at the rehab stuck on the pipe,
'cause he must be smokin' and I'm not jokin'
Sally S comin' straight from Oakland,
Got way more men than I’ll ever need,
I put that on a big fat bag of weed,
'cause I can give you a man who wouldn't give you joint,
Men ain't shit and now I made my point,
so you can light that weed,
while I spit this rap,
and tell you 'bout a player from way back
I was only fourteen when I first got my CLIT sucked,
now I'm grown up and I really like to bust nuts,
Gettin' freaky in the right situations,
You wanna rap well that's a nice occupation,
To get dick when you want 'n how you want it fool
'cause I was fuckin' ugly boys back in high school
I used to fuck young-ass boys,
Used to be broke and didn't have no clothes,
Now I fuck top notch men,
Tellin' stories 'bout rags to riches,
'bout a pimp named Sally from the Oakland set,
Been mackin' for years 'n ain't fell of yet,
So if you ever see me rollin' in my drop top caddy,
throw a peace sign and say hey pimp Sally!
'cause I never would front on my folks,
I slow down and let the gigolos count my spokes,
Men come a dime a dozen,
So don't get mad when I fuck your cousin,
Sally S in the house with some player shit
Comin' up we learn how to freak these boys,
and when your through getting yours then you shake these boys,
and when your older, it's nothin' but a routine,
Makin' G's everyday workin' blue jeans,
I know I seen it before,
I see it again,
Boys saying, Sally, would you be my girl
I was born to mack,
I'm hookin' boys like crack, I be a monkey on your back,
Until you kick that Sally S habit got you on my CLIT,
and even though I can't fuck you every day,
that's 'cause I got another man around the way,
We can all get together on a late night,
cut to the house hook somethin' up real tight,
I really don't care,
cause I'm a player
And if that, girls, doesn’t put you in mood, then, here is some art work by the lovely Natalia Fabia. Now, let’s kick some ass.
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