Monday, November 05, 2007

Mistress Power

Mistress Maybe: Clive James

“Is that your wife
your girlfriend
or just your main bitch?”*

Imagine a bunch of frat boys standing around high-fiving each other while they stroke egos. Visualize them recounting one of their random exploits. Then, witness as a witty member of their whore-hating posse declares with a clever smile, “Guys, you can’t turn a ho into a housewife" and the maniacal laughter that follows.

Their intelligent phraseology is meant to insult women of a morally bereft disposition while they wipe their ass clean of any responsibility for the encounter. But what these poor misguided frat boys don’t realize is most whores would rather choke on a fully erect cock than be their one and only, or hell, even just their “main bitch.” Erroneously, they assume every woman wishes to inhabit girlfriend/wife territory.

Well, gee girls, aren’t I a lucky duck? He picked me!

Unfortunately, now I’ve got another job (i.e. the care and feeding of a bottomless pit). Men have been programmed to expect the servant feminine because their mothers either engrained an attitude of entitlement in their psyches, or because of a lack of nourishment in their primary bond. Emotional vampirism runs at full throttle for those men who assign all of their emotional development to their partner. They want to be fed, nurtured, comforted, and consoled- constantly.

It’s not a surprise, then, why one would gladly pawn off this responsibility on another woman. Who wants to (metaphorically) wash socks all day? As appealing as it sounds, some women instinctively understand this is not a position of power. Not only does one lose value sexually, the interest factor is reduced considerably. Nobody wants to bang the maid, although, modern day Cinderella stories would like to convince us (women) otherwise. Realistic sluts, on the other hand, understand the maid/servant is the most unnoticed, under-appreciated, powerless woman in the tribe. So, she would rather slip into the less demanding of the two roles- the mistress.

There are people in the world, like mistresses, who defy tradition. They challenge society’s notions about love, sex, and relating. Mistresses embrace another brand of “being”. However, it wasn’t always so. Mistresses of the past were used as concubines, still dependent on the support of their lover. The unspoken agreement was, “I’ve got my normal life/wife, but she bores me and I’d like to fuck you.” The mistress accepted the offer under the conditions that financial support would be provided, but no emotional support. Unfortunately, the mistress’s survival was still hinged upon the male dollar (power).

Fast forward a few hundred years, and now, women are beginning to recognize the Cinderella story is a big fucking lie. Additionally, there is no need to barter our security for sex anymore, if you’ve got a little ambition and aren’t afraid of some hard work. However, there is a particular Brand of Pathetic out there who falls into the mistress role expecting her fellow will eventually ditch the old model and upgrade. But this, my friends, is a gross misuse of mistress power.

“Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies.”

Mistresses who embrace power know they have it when the illusion is sparkly. When the glitter fades they are nothing more than a girlfriend in waiting. And, since “girlfriend in waiting” is almost as desperate as a “bride in waiting”, one needs to guard against the onset of reality.

Mistresses are able to maintain their air of mystery and intrigue precisely because they have no desire for love in the mundane. They allow their lover to escape from the heaviness of their primary bond to a “wonderful land of make believe.” The mistress guides her lover into a new state of fluidity. Lovers lose themselves in a sea of passion and release, while idealistic fantasies about fusion and unconditional love are exchanged without expectations.

Any savvy mistress knows, internally, she has the upper hand. He will return to his regular life craving her body, her scent, and her lips. He will dream of her, unable to capture the beauty of the bond during normal waking hours. But, who will wash the floors? Who will scrub the dishes clean? Who will care for the children? And, most importantly, who will deal with his moods, temper, smelly feet, and long-winded repetitive speeches about nothing? She will!

The mistress is not expected to assist with maintaining a functional reality, and really, why would she want to? Reality is a cruel taskmaster and isn’t compatible with beautiful visions of adoration. As long as the mistress harbors no illusions about the bond, she is able to freely fuck as she chooses.

Fuck me, put your pants back on and kindly leave, sir.

As most of you are aware, Sally is one bitch who enjoys a good power play. Thus, the mistress role fits like glove. Even if the dude has no other woman he’s fucking, living with, or married to, one can still create the dynamics of a naughty mistress-like tryst. It’s not terribly hard to do. Men have Prince Charming fantasies of their own and will eagerly fall off the edge of the Earth with you for a few hours. It’s very important, however, to quickly pull back afterwards. A smart mistress understands human reflexology and uses it to her advantage. Leave him with a wistful feeling, like he almost had it, but it slipped right from his fingers.


It is the pattern we adhere to.

And so it goes.....SS

*Lyrics: Rollout: Ludacris


Anonymous said...

I am a modern-day courtesan and I fully appreciate all the comments you have made. What most would-be mistresses forget is that there are rules to be ahered to. I can't help but wonder, if Spitzer had chosen to spend his free-time fucking a mistress, instead of using an escort through a third party, he might still be Govenor Spitzer. My gentleman is an affluent, executive who wanted to follow in the footsteps of his father and his father's friends when he contacted me. He wanted the cache that goes along with having a mistress. Like buying your first Porche or million dollar home. After all, when you get your taxes done, you don't go to a plumber, you hire a CPA, and if you have a lot of money, you hire a good one. As you know, the same goes for a mistress. Anything less, would simply be shoddy and dangerous. I really encourage you to continue in this vein because there are so few of us out there. I was actually searching for "The Care and Feeding of Mistresses", however, I don't think Dr. Laura will be including that among her credited works. Yet, men of a certain age have NO CLUE as to how to behave with a mistress. I learned from my Great Aunt, who left an unhappy marriage to make her own way in the world. She had her own house, her own business and was well respected for her brains and her tenacity. My mother would recount stories of going to lunch with her in the city and business men would send over champagne with their compliments. Heady stuff for an eight year old.
I point to history to illustrate the proper way to be a mistress. Athenais de Montspan, Diane de Poitier, Alice Keppel. These women knew their shit and I am humbled by their legacy. Until we have another "Golden Age", I fear the mistress will continue to be marginalized.
Finally, your description of "detaching" is totally accurate. The first rule of being a good mistress is to extract your heart, because if you don't your're screwed. If you do not have your own apartment with him, get your clothes, get your shit and get out of there. God help you if you ever start to really care about them. Don't worry, though, they always come back for more.

SallySunshine said...

Hello anonymous!

I fully appreciate your comments too! Thanks for the support! I think you are right on about Spitzer. I have been wanting to write about his "outing", but have been to disgusted by how vile the press coverage has been. And, I, like you, wonder if he would've just had a regular mistress instead of a membership at VIP sex club, if this wouldn't be different. I really think so.

Dr. Laura's credited works! Heh. Snort! Yeah, the mistress credo will probably NOT be included in her next book.

I plan to blog about the Spitzer story soon, as soon as I recover from this glorified media "golden cock" jerk fest.