Thursday, May 03, 2007

Honey and The Sting

*raises cup metaphorically to readers* “Here’s to rejection, may all your humiliations be as fine as mine!”

Haven’t we all been there? Rejected by a potential romantic partner, institution, job, parent, or even your entire peer group? Yep, it happens. In fact, it has been occurring since the beginning of time. From classic ostracism dating all the way back to the budding Athenian democracy to modern day excommunications and the shunning of certain public personalities rejection rears its ugly head. And that doesn’t even begin to touch on the petty little rejections each one of us has suffered on a personal level.

Rejection, with its funny little stinger, reminds me of a bumble bee. ( I know, weird analogy, stay with me.) It buzzes around your head on a beautiful summer day, its presence annoying, yet not terribly noticeable. Until the little fucker stings you. Then, that big swollen red bump takes shape, the stinger hanging half way out of the wound. After you’ve torn out the stinger itching and what not may last for a week sometimes longer. In some cases, those allergic to bee stings may experience a fatal reaction. Hell, I think we’ve all seen My Girl where that kid dies from multiple bee stings.

Rejection, especially to the environmentally sensitive person, is like a little mini death of the ego. We scratch, we pull, and some of us even manage to suck the venom out of the wound, yet it is still painful. Some never recover, and the pain turns into rage. For those of us who manage to find some healing and self-esteem, it’s long battle indeed. Yet, as human beings I think we’re up to the task.

Not to get biblical on ya, but “forgive our sins as we forgive those who’ve sinned against us” is not a bad message. Plus, playing the eternal victim is boring and really does nothing in the way of relief anyway. The question we all need to ask about *any* wound we may have suffered in our life is, “How can I use it?” How can we take what we’ve learned through our suffering and give it back to others in the form of compassion, love, and strength? A high order, I know, but necessary in our evolution as a species.

Rejection being the theme … if you feel inclined to do so please share a story of rejection/humiliation no matter how big or small the rejection was. It’ll be like free therapy! YAY!

Here’s mine:

Sally Sunshine is proud of her ability to seduce, being the Aphrodite charmer hyper-sexual girl that she is. It’s an art that’s been perfected over many desire-induced evenings spent in eternal rapture. Eh, you get the point.

Anyway, many moons ago there was a certain lesbian *who shall remain nameless* who seemed bent on humiliating me. She was of the stoic variety, said very little, but had one of those “penetrating stares” romance novels talk about. She was twice my age and rather butchy. She was cute, but in a non-traditional super-secret spy kind of way.

We had been eyeing each other for some time, but never said a word throughout our exchange of hot n’ heavy glances. Finally, on my birthday, with a killer mini and extra beer in hand, I approached Ms. Elusive. She was, for all purposes, less than thrilled with my overture. My “hey, don’t cha wanna come home with me?” after 3-5 birthday shots wasn’t exactly classy.

She explained she didn’t like to rush things and wanted to get to know me better. I, although pleased she wanted to “know me better”, was not pleased with the reference to “taking our time.” However, I conceded and continued to chat with her. She said later that evening we should leave the bar together and continue our conversation elsewhere, which I considered a small victory. After all, it was my birthday and the mini did look fierce.

However, at the end of the night, when I went to get her, her friends said they weren’t sure where she was at. They thought she may have stepped outside for a minute. So, happily I trotted away leaving my drink on the table next to them. But when I got outside she was no where to be found and her car was gone. A few moments later, the first few rain drops fell. I stood, stunned and hurt in my best birthday outfit, while the rain soaked my face. Rejected and a bit emotional, I went home alone.


** Update: The lesbian *who shall remain nameless* later apologized and we dated briefly, until I left her for a hotter younger chick. Funny how life works.

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