This was my horoscope for May penned by one of my favorite astrologers:
“As you make your way in the world, consider the men who have influenced you the most. What troubled them? What did they come up against that prevented them from enjoying life and from living up to their sense of their own potential? If you find yourself being confronted by the same things, I suggest you take a chance and dare to go beyond them. Too often, one generation after the next inherits the limitations and blocks of their forebears, and we typically attract people who help us make sure the patterns stick. New things are happening in your life now, which are thrusting you into the present, which could not be further away from the past.”
So, in the spirit of analysis I thought about the questions above and came up the following:
What troubled the men in my life?
An unhealthy attachment to their mothers, over identifying with a powerful mother figure, a connection to life that was mostly spiritual in nature, avoiding the physical or being fully present in the “NOW”, escapism through drugs and religion, The Searcher or the Journeyman who is lost looking for redemption, dissatisfied with the physical aspect of incarnation, neglect of their health and emotions for fusion with the divine, inability to form strong attachments in human relationships, avoiding responsibilities in favor of freedom, self-deception, impulsiveness, Jesus complex, a martyr energy being channeled in the wrong direction, defeatism, hopelessness followed by periods of self-aggrandizement.
What did they come up against that prevented them from enjoying life and from living up to their sense of their own potential?
Fear, laziness, addictions, lack of self-awareness, perceived or real abandonment of their father/father figures, rigidly adhering to a poisonous belief structure, suffering in silence, servitude displaced, loyalties misplaced, searching for the easy way out without doing any of the work, guilt for failing as a parent the same way their parents did, investing everything into a lie and not having the strength to change.
Now, think about the men who've influenced you in your own life. After you’ve done this little exercise take a look at what you’ve written. I’ll be damned if you don’t see your partner (or if not a partner, your own issues) staring you in the face. People tend to go for what they know. If you look closely at relationships you can see the underlying archetypes operating.
For those of us consciously trying to change, it presents a unique dilemma. I have to admit, I felt a little depressed answering the questions above. There are positive and negative sides to these family patterns, yes, some of our greatest individual strengths emerge from it, but you also get the bullshit too. Obviously, the archetypal pattern represented above is Neptunian in nature. Since I do have a tendency to draw Neptunian/Piscean people (especially men) to me it’s quite fitting.
I was talking to a dear friend during lunch on Saturday. He was reflecting on his own relationship woes, explaining that certain kinds of women with “issues” or “excess baggage” were often attracted to him. Basically, he found himself puzzled that these types of women kept seeking him out. I pointed out that this isn’t a one-way street, that we are, in fact, making relationship choices that validate are own archetypal patterns whether we realize it or not, and that he is “finding them” as much as they are finding him. Both people learn something from the exchange. It’s not to say that this is necessary healthy. It may be that one has to bang their head against the wall a couple hundred times to work through the archetype to find the positive side, or, the positive woman in his situation.
Relationship choices reflect our inner dynamics or patterns whether it’s through work situations, friendships, or romantic partners. Through momentary flashes of truth in seemingly meaningless interactions we come to awareness. The synchronicity is astounding, and in those situations it does feel as if the universe is working with us rather than against us. Truth is waiting to be discovered, examined, recovered, and connected.
Last night on my deck with an old friend at midnight, I had one of those sweet moments of clarity, hence, my flower-sniffing,dress-twirling, love-fest today.
Goin’ all Budda-like on yo’ ass, SS
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