Wednesday, August 08, 2007

A Delicate Porny Veneer

so last night *Peter North came over…..

He was quite respectable size-wise, but not the most exciting guy in the world. Still, I thought what the hell, I’m bored, why not give it try. I should’ve known better. Half-assed attempts to amuse myself never work. Encounters, in order to satisfying, should be loaded, heavy, and intense physically AND mentally. This particular encounter left me in somewhat of a flaccid state.

First of all, the man is delicate. Not in regard to size, obviously, but he is at difficult point in his life. His parents are both recently deceased, his options career-wise are not exactly stellar (I’m not sure if he’s finished high school), his love life is in shambles, and he has a pre-disposition toward depression. Then, he meets me. Actually, when I met him I was only trying to bum a cigarette, and I don’t smoke. So there you go.

Even so, I felt a little sorry for the guy and genuinely wanted to help him whether it was through a sexual channel or otherwise. Sometimes a person needs a fuck, and sometimes a person needs a hug. Mr. North, I’m sure, wouldn’t mind both. However, last night I was reluctant lead him down another dreary path to disappointment. It’s like, “Hey Mr. North, around here the highs are too high and the lows are too low so don’t get too attached.” Wouldn’t it be great if people came with warning signs, especially for those who are delicate?

When I was a little girl, my mother told me, “Sally, there are two types of people in the world, those who kiss the cheek and those who turn their cheek.”

or for variation, try Annie Lennox:

“Some of them want use you and some of them want to be used by you.”

In the same vein, when you know someone is far more attached than you are, should you tell them? Will they listen? In the past, when I’ve given the “enter at your own risk” speech to the more conventional types they have ignored my warning.

You can say, well, these people are learning and they need to figure out how navigate their own dreary path, but it still doesn’t take the sting away for either party. Plus, the Taurean in me wants to build things, not destroy them. Hurting people to help them isn’t exactly the most productive use of one’s resources.

Yet, sometimes you have to Go There to Get There.

Go figure.

*Mr. North’s identity has been changed to protect Mr. North’s identity.

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