Thursday, August 09, 2007

Sexual Dysfunction, Part I

Here at Revolution is Not a Dinner Party, your girl Sally S. spends a lot of time waxing on & on about her raging libido and late night trysts. But what about those who don’t share my enthusiasm, are they repressed? Shy? Tired? Have a headache? Haven’t hit their prime? Suffering from a bad case of the clap?

Traditional myth would have us believe women hit their sexual peak between 35-40 and men between the ages of 18 and 22. The sad fact is many women adhere to this foolishness, but the question we need to be asking is why. Why do women self-police/guard themselves against experiencing pleasure?

Because last night, a little tipsy and feeling frisky, I went to see this sexy grrl, and guess what…..she wasn’t “in the mood”. She also added, “Frankly, Sally, I’m just not as horny as you.” Well then.

I need answers, people.

First off, let’s all admit, yeah, sometimes we’re tired, cranky, stressed out and maybe aren’t feeling “it”. However, when we get stuck in pattern of orgasmic denial, it’s time to re-evaluate our priorities because the dishes can probably wait.

From a very young age, most women were taught to keep their desire in check. Maybe our mothers told us, “Little Billy will try to get to second base with you, but good girls don’t do that” while fathers slapped a condom in their son’s hand with a gruff, “Boy, be careful.” And that was that. Hell, maybe we didn’t hear a peep from either of them and instead heard the old “sluts and studs” speech in high school from our peers. Either way, for women, the prognosis didn’t look good from the start. (Hello Eve, eating the apple.)

This, of course, doesn’t even consider the damage beyond the damage. What about women who’ve been sexual abused? Or, even just those who’ve comforted friends/sisters/mothers/daughters who’ve been raped? It does kick up some anger and rage in the dust storm, does it not?

And, true, in this day n’ age, an open sexually healthy partner can be hard to come by. Let’s face it; the world still isn’t exactly a safe place for women in many ways. One can understand why these attitudes persist. The message women get is, “W-H-O-R-E, you asked for it.” Since most of us aren’t willing to stomach the judgments, emotional and/or physical harm just to achieve the Big O or venture into new sexual territory, here we are, stuck.

*“Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you”

Sorry, I just had to…

Stay tuned for Part II….

*lyrics: Stealers Wheel


Elizabeth McClung said...

well, this book, The female brain (2007) says that the whole 24 hours before determine how "in the mood" a woman will be - great, just what working and stressed women need to hear.

Hey, my mothers entire sexual message (besides deny that anyone would actually WANT it) was "Take a towel, it's going to be messy" - wow, so sex is like food poisoning then?

apple said...

Men who work in offices with females in sexy office wear come home and expect wives to feel amorous when they have spent the day playing with 2 year olds or argueing with difficult teens or got really turned on choosing the groceries This is true That is why they invented the DATE and taking the wife/lover/ out to dinner and a movie.

SallySunshine said...

Hi Elizabeth,

24 hours to determine- overthinking it much?! The risk here is losing it all in analysis. I mean, we could spend hours analyzing what our mood is and how we feel-but what good does that do?
More action, less thinking= good this case anyway.

Thanks for stopping by!

SallySunshine said...

"That is why they invented the DATE and taking the wife/lover/ out to dinner and a movie."

Yes, it's nice to get away from it all isn't it? Sweet escape..can be erotic in and of itself, actually