Friday, August 10, 2007

Sexual Dysfunction, Part II

Read Part I

I finally got her off. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the girl who was only a few nights ago “too tired” and “not horny”, let me have my way with her. After she let go of her inhibitions and relaxed it was, as they say, “smooth sailing.” Well, ok, sometimes it was rough, hair pulling and what not, but that’s neither here nor there.

One would think amongst lesbians/bi girls you would find women who are immensely comfortable in their skin, loving women that is. Yet, in my experience, it’s the lesbians who are often the most bashful, reserved, missionary position types. Why, in the land of women, are we not all gorging ourselves at the table?

The medical community and the APA (American Psychological Association) call it Female Sexual Dysfunction or FSD. FSD actually represents a group of specific diagnosable female sexual problems. The four basic categories of female sexual dysfunction include:

1) Sexual Desire Disorder
2) Sexual Arousal Disorder
3) Sexual Pain Disorder
4) Orgasmic Disorder

Do you see a pattern here? A flow, maybe? One step leads to the next. If you’re not turned on (desireless), surprise, you won’t get aroused (wet), which results in pain (hey, pass the lube!), and sadly then, no orgasm. Boo. Hiss.

Further, what if we are able to successfully navigate our way through steps 1-3 but still can’t orgasm?

Is it psychological? Physical? A little of both?

Once it took me five months to achieve an orgasm with a woman I dated. (Hangs head in shame.)

It wasn’t because she did not have superior oral skills, because she did. However, there was something in me that would not release. We tend to forget orgasm is the release of tension. The fact is, I really needed it at that time. I needed someone to push down on the release valve- hard AND fast.

It’s hard to say why I felt so inhibited then. I had just came out to my mother and was dealing with her critical negative attitude, plus a death in the family. All those factors add up and make it difficult to get out of our heads and into our bodies.

Yet, right inside our bodies is where we need to be- comfortable and free, full of life and ready to release.

It’s Friday!

Enjoy the weekend--go get some. ~ Sally S.


Elizabeth McClung said...

Inhibited - Hand raised. Of course maybe because my mother tells me every time I go home that she hasn't been naked for 10 years (and wants me to do to) - or that in order to have me she had to get drunk and allow my father to rape her (my father's version is vastly different) - hey mom, get off the end of my mental bed and go start a nunnery.

Good point about the release - best sex was after we had done the international move, and we were living in this totally paper thin apartment under Mr. Creepy who kept telling us he "loved" lesbians (like 'could he join in' loved lesbians) so we are trying to have this totally silent sex and then suddenly we are both hysterical and I am orgasming and laughing so hard and we turned it into a total romp fest and knowing that "he" was upstairs probably ear pressed to floor going mental just made us take it to the next level. It was some sort of tension release. Or maybe "revenge sex" against men or something

SallySunshine said...

"Inhibited - Hand raised."

Aw, well, at least you realize it...being the first step and all..

"hey mom, get off the end of my mental bed and go start a nunnery."

ha! Yes. The good thing about being an adult is mom's repression doesn't have to equal your repression. Thank God!

"like 'could he join in' loved lesbians"

`aahhh, I so do love the lame old, "hey can I come too?" attempts to score with the lesbians. Isn't it cliché?