ATTENTION: Sluts, Trannies, Dykes, Queers, Fags, Leather-Daddies, Womanizers, & Wanderers, and all you Lust-Filled Souls with no shame…
Question: In order to have sex (or good sex) with someone does an emotional attachment need to be present?
I think this question is fairly ambigious..what kind of an emotional attachment are we talking about here and who defines what sex is good?
My ex-gf and I had great sex, but frequently harbored feelings of hatred towards each other. It was like, yeah, slam me against the wall, and baby I’m yours. heh.
I realize this kind of intensity isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. So be it. Others need may need gentle loving embraces sprinkled with good intentions and modesty. Well, sorry, that’s not for me. However, what’s really is frustrating is when others try to impose their moral/sexual ethics with no regard for individuality. This is intolerance at its finest.
Women, especially, are forced to reckon with their own internalized shame, plus the judgments of every Tom, Dick and Harry out there. It isn’t fair! Think of how much fun we could have if we all ditched our Victorian hang-ups and defenses. Good-by Purity, Hello Freedom!
It is no secret; I dig a sex-positive attitude and have a healthy respect for fantasy, masturbation, and experimentation. This often is mis-interpreted as being selfish, crass, and/or immature. As in, “Hey, why can’t you just conform and be a “normal” person?”- whatever that means.
The thing is, people were not made to live with the level of severity sexual repression requires. It’s hard enough to live on this planet, yet we make it more difficult with these ridiculous rules about morality, and truthfully, most of this bullshit is religious in nature. These out-dated views we hold on to today represent the accumulation of all the shame, brainwashing, and control under the guise of preserving the social order. Call me crazy (indeed many people have) but I’m not a dog.
As one of my favorite musicians would say, “You could try to train me like a pet, you could try to teach me to behave, but you know what…
I’m not gonna sit, I’m not gonna stay.”
5 comments:
"In order to have sex (or good sex) with someone does an emotional attachment need to be present?"
For me personally, I have to have honesty. If it's a fuck, don't be afraid to call it a fuck. If two people come (or cum) together and get each other off, how is that a bad thing? The only problem I have is when there is confusion about what it is. If I think it's romantic sex, and you think it's fuck me and leave me sex, that's a really big problem. It's all about being clear.
Isn't it a wonderful thing to actually question everything? Makes for a much more controllable, rich life.
Hmm. For me there needs to be an emotional attachment, but not in the romantic sense necessarily. What I mean is that I feel quite comfortable hooking up with people who I consider friends, which for me tends to translate to both a sense of being comfortable and able to be myself and a physical intimacy - I'm very huggy/kissy with people I like, regardless of gender. So, basically, I can have good sex with the same sort of people I can have fun doing anything else with on a regular basis. I can't have good esx with strangers - I've tried, doesn't work.
On the other hand...there are those time when you meet a person and feel a connection immediately, and in that case I think I'd be fine sleeping with them. Sadly that has never happened in a case where both parties were free to indulge in my case, but if it did I think I would be just fine with that.
Hi Miss Marti!
Yes, honesty is the best policy. Let'em know what's up because feelings get hurt when one partner expects more than the other. I've been both the user and the usee so I know how it goes.
To Cassandra:
"On the other hand...there are those time when you meet a person and feel a connection immediately, and in that case I think I'd be fine sleeping with them."
Indeed, that has happened to me many times. I too like to fuck my friends, as long as things don't get weird.
I'm wondering, do you get caught up in the echoes of shame our society is throwing at you? You seem to write about that a lot, as if you really have a question about your own personal ethics. I mean you're asking a question that can only be answered by you.
"You seem to write about that a lot, as if you really have a question about your own personal ethics. I mean you're asking a question that can only be answered by you. "
I have questioned my own personal ethics A LOT. But, self-acceptance is critical, I try hard not to judge myself so harshly anymore.
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