Skirt Chasin'

It took me a long time to finally stop imaging every boy that I’ve ever saw in a dress. Because boys, at some point, will all have their manhood stripped from them. The only difference being, I saw it in my mind’s-eye long before they could ever fathom it. I knew that purple sash and little Bo Peep bonnet would look nice on him long before he ever did.

For most men the transformation is necessary part of development. Tori A. said it best in her song, Caught a Lite Sneeze, when she said “Boys in their dresses, but you're not here.” Sometimes the ego disappears, and identity is lost during the unraveling of our false self. Where do we go when we lose ourselves? Do we sublimate our thoughts, desires, and needs and lose contact with our instinctual drives?

This happens easily to men who are often taught to ignore their feminine side, in favor of unrelenting masculinity. Men without a proper container to hold their femininity will project all their neurotic tendencies on to the woman with the right hook (to hang his projection on, that is.) This is the one that draws him in.

Of course, women too experience their own form of de-humanization and humiliation. For many women, the unintended consequence of sublimating our inner male has forced itself to the surface through violent abusive relationships, or splits between our bodies and minds. Women, with our tendency to contort ourselves into chameleon-like poses to please everybody, need to collectively develop a lower tolerance for bullshit.

And really, the only way to overcome it is to build a divine marriage of opposites within yourself. Relationships should only exist as a container for self-discovery, if we are aware enough. The rest of the work should be done in the confines of our own minds. Even if the only thing you can see is a bunch of dudes standing around in their pretty dresses.